


I Wrote Your Song

by sleepyqueerboi



Series: Nate's Random One-Shots [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Character Death, M/M, basically mourning really fucks him up, character mourning over a parent's death, character not taking care of themself after said parent's death, this is a big oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-26 01:21:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyqueerboi/pseuds/sleepyqueerboi
Summary: Grieving for a loved one is difficult.





	I Wrote Your Song

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based off of the song 'Dad's Song' by Set It Off and contains the lyrics of said song as well.
> 
> Also, issa big oof.

/Do you believe in happy endings?  
Or the mendings of human hearts?  
Oh I believe, in both I’m certain  
Because these curtains are state of the art/

 

Virgil was crying. Of course he was. It was now September. 4 months had gone by, but Virgil was still sobbing. The funeral was today, but he didn’t stay once it was over. He had ignored both his best friend and his boyfriend and ran, ran back to his now too empty house. He was hurting, and he felt so cold.

 

/If you’d occasionally happen to spy on me  
You’d think I’m having one-sided conversations  
But I hear him talking  
You’d think I may even lack some sanity  
But maybe I can’t let go/

 

“Virgil?” Logan had questioned once Virgil answered his call. He hadn’t spoke to anybody in almost a month. “You actually picked up.”

“Hey, Lo...” Virgil’s throat was raw and scratchy from all the screaming and crying he had been doing.

“Are you okay? I haven’t seen you since last month...” Virgil hesitated, taking almost a minute to suppress tears.  
“I’m okay...”

“Do you want me to come over? I could cook some dinner for you, or we could go out to eat maybe?”

“It’s okay, Lo...” Virgil chewed on his lip, feeling tears trail down his cheeks. “The house needs to be cleaned...”

“Okay, I won’t force you, Virge.” Logan paused. “Just know I miss you, okay? I’ll let you go now, I love you.”

“Love you too...” Virgil hung up, before curling up into a ball and crying for the rest of the night.

 

/I finally wrote your song at last  
Sorry that this one came out so sad  
Every tear I had was shed for the man that gave me a better sense  
Of life and meaning to motivate  
There’s no shortcuts to success  
I’ll wait, for his guiding hands  
My guardian angel until the very end/

 

“Virgil! Come outside this instant! Or I will personally knock your front door down!” Roman was yelling from outside of Virgil’s house, and Virgil could barely breathe. Roman couldn’t see him like this! He hadn’t showered in months, he was wearing filthy clothes! He slowly made his way to his front door, leaning his forehead against it.

“Go away, Roman. I don’t want to go out.”

“V, I haven’t seen you since September, and it’s nearly February.” Roman sounded legitimately wounded, and Virgil sighed.

“Just leave me alone...” 

“V.” Roman’s demeanour could change in literally nanoseconds, he now sounded almost angry, and it caused Virgil to flinch away from the door as if it had burnt him. “There’s no way you still have food in there.”

“We just want to see you again, Virge.” That was Logan. Virgil bit his lip hard before making up his mind.

“I’m going to unlock the door, and go shower. When I get out you have one hour before you leave.” He didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but it couldn’t be helped. He unlocked the door and fled to the bathroom upstairs.

 

/I see a cold seat on your couch where I remember  
That just 4 years ago, around December  
You sat me down, and held me next to you so close  
How I long for things to be restored   
To back when times weren’t quite this hard  
In the car that song you sang to me never rang so loud before/

 

Logan slowly entered Virgil’s home, checking that he had in fact gone to shower, before moving to the kitchen, Roman in tow.

“We should make as much as we can while we’re here, I don’t want to imagine how long it’s been since he last ate anything,” Logan sighed, running a hand through his hair. From what he could see, Virgil hadn’t done any sort of home maintenance since he holed himself up in here, and that hurt Logan. He knew Virgil was only messy when he wasn’t feeling good. 

 

Logan began to prepare some of the food he and Roman had brought when he heard light footsteps on the stairs, and he looked up to see Virgil, who was literally skin and bone, drowning in his oversized black and purple hoodie. They locked eyes for a few moments, time seeming to stand still, before Virgil slowly walked up to Logan and wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist, and Logan didn’t hesitate before pulling Virgil closer to him, taking in the scent of his coconut shampoo. He could feel Virgil shaking in his arms, and Logan gently kissed the top of his head.

“I missed you, love...”

 

/Oh what i’d give for just another hug from you  
You may be gone but love will never die/

 

Virgil was finally coming back out of his shell. Logan had ended up staying for that whole afternoon and the night after, and Virgil couldn’t help but crack a smile smile at seeing Logan lying next to him the next morning.

“There’s that smile I fell for...” Logan chuckled softly, and Virgil felt his face heat up. “I’m glad you’re feeling better...I was really worried.” Virgil just moved closer to Logan, curling up against his body.

“I miss him...”

“I know, love...”

“It hurts, Lo...so much...” Virgil was crying again now, softly as he clung to Logan’s shirt.

“Do you...want to go see him?”

 

/Tears can’t run dry when I start to cry  
When I hear people speak of how you’d be so proud of me  
And how I hope this song will reach your ears  
I battled all my darkest fears  
I once was blind but now it’s clear  
Wherever I go I know you’ll be near/

 

“Hi, dad,” Virgil began, his voice cracking. It had been a year now, but the carving still looked brand new. ‘Patton Sanders, 1969 - 2017. Beloved son, brother and father’. It felt so weird, looking at those words now. Virgil could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, but he had to push on. He had to do this. “Y’know, I finally finished that song I was writing for you...I thought you’d wanna be the first person to hear it...” His voice was trembling, and Logan knelt next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Virgil sniffled, before beginning to sing, his voice shaking and weak. 

“I finally wrote your song at last, sorry that this one came out so sad,   
any tear I had was shed for the man that gave me a better sense,  
of life and meaning to motivate,  
there’s no shortcuts to success,  
I’ll wait, for his guiding hands...” Virgil took a shaky breath. He knew recovery would be difficult, and he wouldn’t stop grieving for a very long time. But this was a step forward, hoping that Patton’s soul could hear him as he sang, tears running down his face once more. “My guardian angel until the very end...”

 

My guardian angel, until the very end.


End file.
